Weighing In

One goal of mine for 2016 is to try and lose some weight. It takes time to properly lose weight because it took time to put the weight on to begin with. However, thus far, I have not made any progress towards weight loss and my eating habits do not seem to be getting better. Granted, I am only slightly overweight at 150 lbs. or a little over and I am about 5' 6" tall; however, I gained a little over 20 lbs of the weight in a relatively short period of time. I went from a size 4 to size 10 pants and size small top to a medium or large. I went from being able to practically run up stairs to being out of breath climbing a flight of stairs.

It doesn't help that Virginia is in the midst of having a foot or more of snow and I am snowed in. This leaves me in a house full of food and not much to do. I wish I could say that I am only a stress eater, but I am not. I eat out of boredom, hunger, stress, and impulse. Over these past couple of days, I feel like I have done nothing but eat just about every moment that I am awake. Sometimes I am aware of it and other times I am not really aware of how much I am eating. I was talking to my mom last night on Facetime; my mom noticed how much I was eating and became concerned. She attributes a lot of my eating to stress. At one time, I think I also thought I was a stress eater as I mainly started gaining a lot of weight after I began working as a nurse. Nursing is a stressful career and it doesn't help that our break room is usually packed with candy, chips, cookies, cupcakes, and other junk food. On my work days/nights, I am more likely to eat out than I am to buy groceries from the grocery store. I used to think after my 3 shifts, I will exercise and be able to cook healthy meals at home. It didn't happen. I still eat out on my days/nights off and the idea of exercising is easier said than done. I was creating a habit pattern and didn't even realize it. Like I said previously, I am not only a stress eater. Sometimes, if food just looks good, I will eat it. It is an impulse problem. People with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is what I have, are well known to have impulse control issues.

I used to think once I became more aware of eating and how much I am eating, then I would be able to easily lose the weight. That didn't happen, I think I have gotten into such a pattern and somewhat addicted to food, that I honestly don't know how to stop.

I am going to try and read some books and get some ideas that maybe I haven't thought of to help myself stop. My town has an aquatic center and I have thought about joining. I am not much of a runner, but I love to swim. I also like hiking and other outdoor activities. For right now, since we are in the midst of winter, swimming seems like my best option.